The external skin surrounding the anus has many nerve endings. When these are massaged with oil or lubricant it can be a wonderful way to relax the body and feel sensual. It can take 10-20 minutes of massage before the body feels relaxed. It is important not to rush anal play, so concentrating on relaxing the breath, inhaling and tightening your pelvic muscles, then exhaling and releasing.
A fun thing to do is introduce toys externally during the massage. Try things with a soft smooth surface like rubber, silicon dildos, butt plugs and vibrators. Intermingle these with rotating thumbs, fingers and knuckles, but make sure your finger nails are filed smoothly. It is easy to scratch or tear the tissue of the rectum and then for bodily fluids to pass from the rectum into your bloodstream.
Remember when using condoms and vinyl gloves that most of them are not compatible with oil-based lubricants, so make sure you use a water-based one and lots of it. The anus and rectum does not produce any natural lubrication. Latex or vinyl gloves also have a great soft feel in the anus and are easy to dispose of when you have finished. Also remember when sharing toys always use condoms and change them between partners.
When playing anally with women, be aware not to take any of the massage strokes or toys from the anus to the vagina because this can cause a bacterial infection.
Oral sex or rimming can be enjoyed by placing a length of non-microwaveable clear wrap, or a dental dam, against the anus. Using lubricant on the inside of the wrap or dam against the anus feels great.
The most common techniques for anal play include touching the anal opening with a finger while masturbating or stimulating a partner’s anus during intercourse or oral sex. Try moving your finger in gently, leaving it in until the anus relaxes, then move in and out in a circular motion.
Doing Kegels to strengthen your PC muscle is also good for strengthening the anal sphincter.
Renee experimented with anal sex with her partner Karla. “We had only been together for a short time when, during our sexual play the issue of anal sex came up. We all know about genital sex, but when you start to play anally it requires a lot more trust and sensitivity, because it is traditionally a sexually taboo subject and we carry the tension around this in our body. I find that anal sex is a very intense sensation and it is a glorious feeling to give and receive anal pleasure. When I first stimulate my partner’s anus it is very tight and the muscles grip my finger, but as she gets closer to orgasm her anus relaxes and opens. It is one of the most intimate and loving things you can do with a partner and when we make love this way it gives me goose bumps all over my body. Anal sex requires good hygiene, so we always use latex gloves and use lots of lubricant.”