Pleasurespotting: the answers to the most commonly asked sexual questions

I have advised women and men on their sexual pleasure for many years and I always marvel at the multi-faceted and complex nature of erotic issues. Many people come from a trauma base around sexuality, with backgrounds of sexual abuse and disempowerment, however we do not have to be stuck in this place. No matter what was experienced in the past you can move beyond it. While you must acknowledge past pain in order to heal, you also need to learn new ways to develop yourself and have fun. Women are great at nurturing other people, but often do not express that same degree of nurturance to themselves. Men can often be good at giving help, but find it very difficult to ask for help.

To find out what is the sexual truth for ourselves, we need to do our own individual emotional and body issues and also to educate ourselves about sexuality, which is still widely misunderstood. Often a visit to the doctor does not answer your questions on female ejaculation, anal pleasure or how to have a better orgasm. Women’s magazine articles on ‘sex tips’ are often very simplistic in their approach, leaving out the key questions you would like answered.

I created The Pleasure Spot because it was the sort of place that as a woman I wanted to visit. I had been to women’s sex shops in the USA, UK and Europe and found them inspiring. On my return to Australia I visited Sydney’s sex shops and found them not only uninspiring but an insult to women’s sexuality. So I set up the website side of my business, specifically sourcing and designing products for women. It offered good quality products and a confidential service. Later I expanded the business into a shop where products are sold, courses held and individual counselling is done.

I have tried to create this website with my experience having a shop many years ago. Women loved the non-intimidating environment a place where they could ask questions without being judged and where they could be confident that the information they were given was correct. Every woman and man has a different sensual journey, however I have found many similar questions are raised about body issues, sexual response and what is ‘normal’. Here are the questions I have been asked most frequently, in individual sessions, group workshops and by customers from The Pleasure Spot.

Jo-Anne Baker