healthiness.com.au

Is orgasm and ejaculation the same thing?

Interview: Anthony Harden
Australian body worker, specialising in teaching men’s Taoist sexuality techniques.

“Women have the ability to have multiple orgasms, so why not men? I put that question to myself in my mid-thirties during a search for my own sexual fulfilment. The question came up for me because more often than not I have felt a bit let down after ejaculation. Often I have wanted to go deeper and deeper into the sexual experience I am having with my partner or to keep it going for a much longer period of time and not have it end with ejaculation. I also wanted to experience sexual energy moving throughout my whole body, not just in my cock. I had been learning meditation for some time and was keen to learn how I could use my sexual energy to release tension throughout my whole body, making this a healing experience for myself and a highly stimulating erotic experience for both myself and my partner.

“To be able to prolong a sexual experience for yourself is a fantastic feeling. Sex then seems to take on a different meaning, whether you are with a lifetime partner, someone new or you just want to have extended fun playing with yourself. The aim is the same, to explore and play taking yourselves to higher and higher levels of excitement, without falling off the mountain. If you have worked hard to reach a state of sexual ecstasy it makes more sense to stay there and have fun for as long as you want, then you don’t just fall off the mountain, you fly.

“So how does a man become multi-orgasmic? I had looked at books on the Karma Sutra to give me a clue, but unless I was prepared to spend six months twisting and contorting my body into hundreds of different postures, it seemed like I was going to be unable to get more out of the sexual experience. It all seemed like a hell of a lot of effort, let alone wondering what the other person had to endure.

“I read an article in a men’s magazine on the Taoist philosophy of expanding your sexual experience, which stressed keeping it within, rather than just letting it out. It explained the Taoist belief that when a man ejaculates he loses fluids that are vital to the overall well-being of his system. If you can learn to keep the sperm within your body, you will be able to sustain long hard erections for the rest of your life. This will allow you to make love for hours on end, or until your partner is begging you to stop. I spoke to a friend about the article and he told me he was reading a book by Mantak Chia, called Multiorgasmic Man, a master of Taoist sexual energy work. I bought the book and have never looked back.

“The Taoist philosophy differentiates between an orgasm and ejaculation, which men are usually taught is the same thing. This is not true. An orgasm for a man happens at the point just prior to ejaculation and by learning a few simple techniques to control this you can prevent ejaculation and push the sensations throughout the body. This leads to an extraordinary sexual feeling and truly creates some amazing results, not only in the body but also in the mind. The Taoist method of sexuality does not mean tying yourself up in Karma Sutra knots to get to a greater sexual state. It is also non-sexuality specific, so it works as effectively for straight or gay men.

“It can give you a new sense of your own physical and sexual power. For a lot of men there is a lot of guilt around masturbation, generally it is done in a great hurry so as not to get caught. I have come to believe that, in part, this is one of the main reasons during sex that men tend to come as quickly as possible, meaning that we miss out on all the more subtle experiences there are to be had along the way. If being able to prolong your own sexual experience and pleasure sounds like something you would be interested in exploring, congratulations.

“If you learn to control and prevent ejaculation, you will find that you are able to strengthen your erections so that they are always hard. Even if you have no trouble with impotence, the techniques will help to ensure that you always remain in that very virile state. Even when you are feeling low on energy, these sexual techniques will leave you feeling energised and peaceful instead of depleted.

“There are two main areas to work on, the breath and controlling the PC muscle. We need to learn to contract this muscle, to give us more strength and the ability to stop ejaculation. You will be able to locate this muscle by pulsing or contracting your bottom, or by going to the toilet to urinate and squeezing down to stop the flow of urine mid-stream. When you know what it feels like you can start by doing these contractions about four or five times during the day such as when you are driving to work or just sitting relaxing.

“Learning to separate orgasm from ejaculation:
Lubricate your penis, or if you are with a partner get them to do it.
Start to self pleasure or gently stroke the penis as you would in masturbation.
Keep your breath even and pay close attention to how aroused you are becoming.
When you feel that you are getting to the point just before ejaculation stop stroking your cock and squeeze down on your PC muscle.
As you squeeze down breath in deeply and imagine the energy travelling up your spine into your head and then down into your navel. This really helps to move the energy throughout your whole body. You will know if you have stopped at the right time because your erection will have gone.
After a few moments begin again, you can do this five or six times and each time you will feel the energy build and move throughout your whole body.

“When you have mastered this technique and feel that you have control you can use the PC and breath techniques whilst entering your partner. You need to thrust and build up the energy to the point just prior to ejaculation, then stop the movement, breath and squeeze the PC muscle while still remaining inside your partner. If you find the excitement of remaining inside of your partner too stimulating you can withdraw, relax and breath deeply to move the energy throughout your body. Wait for a minute and begin again.

“Once you have mastered these techniques you can remain inside your partner without withdrawal. This means that you will be able to pleasure your female partner to the point of orgasm, or your male partner for as long as he desires. Like any new technique mastering it takes time, so relax and enjoy the process. If loss of control over ejaculation happens, don’t be disappointed, enjoy the sensations and try again another time.”