How can I deal with impotence?

Most men experience impotence at sometime in their life, it can be due to age, tiredness, stress, alcohol or drugs. Sometimes it can be caused by physical problems, e.g. diabetes or cancer, Multiple Sclerosis and at other times it can be related to fear or guilt. Impotence can happen when a man feels pressured to have sex with his partner, when he only wants to be held and touched. It can also have a deeper psychological significance, and occur when a man does not want to feel committed to the relationship.

Viagra & Cialis are often prescribed by a doctor and can be very helpful.

Sexual performance anxiety is often part of the reason for impotency, so sometimes taking a medication (Viagra or Cialis) can relax this anxiety and build up confidence. It is also important for the man and his partner to realise that there are many enjoyable things to do which do not require an erection. The flaccid penis is still quite sensitive and enjoys stimulation of all kinds. Massaging and oral stimulation can be pleasurable for both of you and often when a man no longer feels under pressure his body responds. There is a great deal more to sex than just intercourse and rather than being goal-orientated, focus on pleasurable body sensations. Deep easy breathing, as well as communication, are very important. Kegels exercises, described above, are also very valuable.

There are a number of sex toys which can also be helpful in producing an erection and one of these is the vacuum pump. Before the pump is used, a specially designed ring made of rubber, leather or metal, generally known as a cock ring, is put around either the base of the penis or the base of the penis and scrotum. These rings are designed to restrict the blood flow from the penis and help maintain an erection. The flaccid penis is placed into the vacuum pump and the pumping action causes it to become engorged with blood. Some men find that wearing a cock ring prolongs their erection or makes their erection firmer, it is important to experiment and find out if this will work for you. However, make sure it is not too tight, or wear it for too long, as it can cut off circulation and cause bruising.

There are also injections which can produce temporary erections, but this does not deal with the psychological issues causing impotency. In extreme cases surgical implants can be fitted. Many men find that as they get older, and are less able to have erections on demand, they expand their sexual activities to include more non genital touch, oral sex and playing with sex toys. This expands their experience of sensuality and pleasure in more creative ways. This is not reliant on you having an erection. Using a harness and dildo can also be very useful for men who suffer from impotence.